At first, akala ko okay nako, okay na lahat sa amin at naghihintay na lang kame ng time. Then suddenly may text akong nabasa sa cel nya.
"baby, pakakasalan kita."
Tangina! ANG SAKET!
halos lahat ng memories na naipon ko together with her through the years ay unti-unting nawawala. for nine years, halos walang makaka-isip na magkakaganun pa. bumabalik lahat nung time na you're both fighting for something beautiful, something na mag la-last forever. pakiramdam ko tuloy, hindi siya naging masaya sa mga taon na naging kame. halos di ako makahinga nung nabasa ko yun, namanhid ang buong katawan ko, parang gusto kong ibalik yung time na magiging magkakilala pa lang kame at putulin na duon yung memories ko. lahat ng naipon naming pictures eh nasa akin pa, lahat ng notes tsaka mga other things na naibigay nung mga years na hindi pa uso ang text messaging at blogging, hindi ko na alam kung anu pang gagawin ko sa mga yun. hindi ko na rin alam kung paano ulit mag start, yung mag-uumpisa ulit buuin yung sarili pagkatapos kang mabasag. kung paano ka ulit matutulog na hindi siya yung iniisip mo, kung paano ka iiyak nang hindi siya ang laman ng mga luha mo. paano ka babalik nine years ago nung hindi pa kayo magkakilala para unti-unting mabura sya sa isip mo, kase hindi mo kayang mag move forward dahil wala ka nang kamay na hahawakan pa para sumulong. paano mo bubuuin yung buhay mo nine years ago na hindi siya kasama. hindi lahat ng masaya natatapos ng maganda.
marami akong balak gawin, pero parang wala na yung push ko, yung driving force ko. kahit gaano kasakit kelangan tanggapin dahil yun lang ang alam kong dapat una kong gawin. tanggapin na wala na.
***
para lalong masakit, kanta nya to para sa akin nuon...
There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all.
And with all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these mem'ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more.
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more
In my life I loved you more
*sorry kung hindi nako makakatulog ng maayos.
para lalong masakit, kanta nya to para sa akin nuon...
There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all.
And with all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these mem'ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more.
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more
In my life I loved you more
*sorry kung hindi nako makakatulog ng maayos.
1 comment:
its not easy to let go of something uv put everythin in2..
but its harder to realize later that uv been holdin on to smthin dat wasnt der
anymore..
you hav to let go wen u feel ur hurtin 2 much..u hav 2 give up wen luv isnt enough coz 4 sure ders som1 outder hul luv u even MORE.
"letting go is not an easy task, when smiling feels like i must wear this lonely mask..it hurts deep inside but i just cannot hide that thers anguish at the thought that we should part.."
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