you know you are lucky when some mornings the sunrise isn't the prettiest thing you see

kriing! kriing! kriing!

(telepono yan, nag riring)

me: yes?

caller: musta na?

me: ok lang, sino to?

caller: ako, di mo ba ko nabobosesan?

me: hinde, sino nga to?

caller: ako nga! hellow?

me: ahh.. oh baket?

caller: wala lang.. how are you?

me: i'm doing fine naman.. you?

caller: ganun pa rin, wala masyadong changes. ikaw? inconsistent ka pa rin?

me: constantly.

caller: hihihi... umaalis ka pa ba?

me: sometimes. pag may free time.

caller: alis tayo minsan.

me: sige na muna, natatae ako eh.

caller: why are you like that? pag tuwing kausap mo ko natatae ka na lang bigla? mukha ba kong cr?

me: may pagka

(caller hung up)

me: bastos amf!

(suddenly nag ring ulet)

me: yes?

caller: kaw ang bastos!

(hung up ulit)

me: huh?!?

*** this story didnt really happen. wala lang ako magawa and i feel the need to write something here, magtatapos na kase ang month wala pa kong post. hehehe.. dont worry mabait naman ako kausap sa fone.

it's all set

i'm tired of singing you love songs
it is such a drag of its becoming
i'm sick of giving sweet nothings
i'm scared of giving in
i'm in pulse of these sapidity
and it's all set
it took me decades to decide
i'm going now
in a pursuit of a dream
you can't follow
your hopes can't follow
you will lose me
i will lose you
and if ever God is watching
ask Him if i'm flying
cos im not
i will be down there throwing stones after stones
to build me a bridge to crossover
oh how i'm so unprepared

2000ml scar remover

-Kumpleto-

di ko alam kung pwede pa
kung pwede pa hintayin mo lang muna
hintayin mo lang muna bumalik ang sarili ko sa akin
at ipakikita sa iyo
kung sino at anu ako
kumpleto

kung makapaghihintay pa
sundan mo lang muna
wag lilingon
at wag kang mangangamba
di ka na mangangamba

hintayin mo lang muna
at sandali na lang ito
hintayin mo lang muna bumalik ang sarili ko
at ipakikita sa iyo
iaalay sa iyo
kung sino at anu ako
kumpleto

taglay ko ang ganda ng buwan
half moon man
di na mag iisa muli
at wag maiinip kahit alam nating mainit

hintayin mo lang muna
at sandali na lang ito
hintayin mo lang muna bumalik ang sarili ko
at ipakikita sa iyo
iaalay sa iyo
kung sino at anu ako
kumpleto

hintayin mo lang muna
at sandali na lang ito
hintayin mo lang muna bumalik ang sarili ko
at ipakikita sa iyo
iaalay sa iyo
kung sino at anu ako
kumpleto

hintayin mo ko at malapit na
samahan mo kong hintayin ako
sabay tayong maghihintay
sabay tayo
sabayan mo ko

hintayin mo lang muna
at sandali na lang ito
hintayin mo lang muna bumalik ang sarili ko
at ipakikita sa iyo
iaalay sa iyo
kung sino at anu ako
kumpleto


kumpleto
kumpleto, kumpleto,kumpleto
kung sino ako. kumpleto.

not even the best hairstyle can make an ugly mind pretty

parating busy kaya quotes lang muna:

-Was I right? Was I right to open all the old wounds again, to force myself to bleed again as in that cellar 12 years ago? Have I been a fool to bring her here when eight scores of months had almost cured the pain? (The Phantom Of Manhattan)

-We are never quits with those who oblige us, for when we do not owe them money, we owe them gratitude (count of montecristo)

... maligo na kayo!

***

you probably couldnt see me
so i automatically became a whisper
far from a legend
a story unworthy of writing
whatever your doing
dont do it for me
take a lesson on science
and mathematics
cos i'll be learning to count all wrongs
on your grand solar system

once in february

hmmm.. its the end of the month na pala. i say, i've been quite busy lately sa work, and sa maraming changes na nangyayari saken. Most importantly, i think, i'm getting quite logical sa maraming bagay. Logical and practical. Im trying to be positive na sa mga views ko about a lot of things. Working my ass to become a better mature individual.

Sobrang dami palang pwedeng mangyari sa loob lamang ng 4 months. Within 4 months, naging isip bata ako (sabi defense mechanism daw yun sa mga anxiety attacks), naging paranoid (half-crazy), unsettled, crackpot, suicidal chicken at kung anu-ano pang kagaguhan. Ewan ko lang kung okay nako. Pero, i can say na i'm better than before.

Just last week, nagsimula na naman akong magkasakit. Colds + cough + a sore throat. Sabi ng doctor siguro sa stress daw. Binigyan nya ko ng medication, pero hanggang ngayon meron pa kong cough and colds (as i was writing this blog eh tulo sipon pako.. *singhooot*). I feel sleepy already pero may work pako kaya eto nag blog muna ako since, na-realized ko rin na matagal na rin pala akong walang bagong entry.

To a friend of mine na nasa san francisco ngayon, miss na kita tsong. Wala akong makasama dito para manuod sa Mayrics ng mga gigs. hehehe... tumugtog nga pala ulet yung spelling contest sa may bandang shaw blvd. at na special mention ka, sana napakinggan mo. Win, ingat ka dyan pare.. baka magka-*toot* ka dyan hehehe... kaw pa! kilala kita! Two Towers pa rin! hehehe...

***

i keep climbing
rocky walls of disbelief
i keep fighting
i keep losing my mind

tell me there's a logic out there.

Unedited

I was on a business trip at Caramoan island for the past 2 weeks. Its refreshing na makapunta sa lugar na malayo sa araw araw mong nakikita. Pero, malungkot sa lugar na iyon. i considered it nga as my chateau d'if (kung alam nyo yung Count of Montecristo, you'll know what i'm talking about.) Maganda yung place, nature tripping talaga. ingat lang ako kase ang daming snakes sa lugar na napuntahan ko. Dun ko natikman yung wild boar, sarap pala nun.

I can say na "untouched" pa yung place kase sa morning pagka-gising, an eagle flying high above would greet your mornings tapos at night mga fireflies naman makikita mo sa isang tree. Dun ko nalaman na mahirap palang mamingwit ng isda tsaka kumuha ng clean water para mainum. But its all worthwhile.

After 2 weeks, na-miss ko na tong net, tsaka lahat ng ginagawa ko dito sa manila. Buti na lang at nakauwi nako.

***

..for you, kase higit sa lahat na-miss kita..

Immensely buried by my thoughts of you

I can’t help myself but to think of ways to make you happy

To make myself think of ways to make you smile every waking day

I succumb to every word you said

I could die believing in you

You alone made everything in my world appear all right

You alone made everything seem all right

If I could only make you beam with glee each day

If I could only wash away those woes

I would… if I could

Those eyes gleamed with passion of beauty

Shimmered with happiness

You don’t deserved anguish

You are more than what you think you are

This time no more walls, no more bunkers, no more misery

This time.., I’ll have eight arms to hold you.

this thing about magic

Just recently someone texted me.. yung fucking lesbo! sabi ko:


tangina mo!



hehehehe!!! hindi naman ako mganun kabastos kase hindi naman bastos yung message niya, sabi lang niya na alam niya yung story namin, she's apologizing daw for everything, sabi ko:

okay lang yun.. you can suck mine though

hahahaha!!! hindi naman.. pero something to that effect, nakalimutan ko na yung sinabi ko pero pag wala kang tulog at may nag text sayo nang ganun, tendency is, mapapatay mo yung sender in a single text message.

Okay na ba? I think okay nako. I'm just waiting for something right now, everything seems in a haze, pero ok na. sabi nga, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

What's with the title? Magic. Nine years is a magic... yun lang! walang clue!

***

nagbababad sa kahihintay
inaabangan na makasabay
kapiling tuwina
kahit sa isip lamang
di magsasawa ang puso
sa pagbibilang sa atin

bitin ang galaw

gustong sumigaw
ang problema ko'y ikaw
di makagalaw
ako'y hihiyaw
ang problema ko'y ikaw

Problema ko'y ikaw -Spelling Contest

Sharp Disaster

i would really love to write things that would make me happy right now, pero, overpowering yung emotions ko ngayon na hindi ko mapigilang umiyak while i am writing this post.

At first, akala ko okay nako, okay na lahat sa amin at naghihintay na lang kame ng time. Then suddenly may text akong nabasa sa cel nya.

"baby, pakakasalan kita."

Tangina! ANG SAKET!

halos lahat ng memories na naipon ko together with her through the years ay unti-unting nawawala. for nine years, halos walang makaka-isip na magkakaganun pa. bumabalik lahat nung time na you're both fighting for something beautiful, something na mag la-last forever. pakiramdam ko tuloy, hindi siya naging masaya sa mga taon na naging kame. halos di ako makahinga nung nabasa ko yun, namanhid ang buong katawan ko, parang gusto kong ibalik yung time na magiging magkakilala pa lang kame at putulin na duon yung memories ko. lahat ng naipon naming pictures eh nasa akin pa, lahat ng notes tsaka mga other things na naibigay nung mga years na hindi pa uso ang text messaging at blogging, hindi ko na alam kung anu pang gagawin ko sa mga yun. hindi ko na rin alam kung paano ulit mag start, yung mag-uumpisa ulit buuin yung sarili pagkatapos kang mabasag. kung paano ka ulit matutulog na hindi siya yung iniisip mo, kung paano ka iiyak nang hindi siya ang laman ng mga luha mo. paano ka babalik nine years ago nung hindi pa kayo magkakilala para unti-unting mabura sya sa isip mo, kase hindi mo kayang mag move forward dahil wala ka nang kamay na hahawakan pa para sumulong. paano mo bubuuin yung buhay mo nine years ago na hindi siya kasama. hindi lahat ng masaya natatapos ng maganda.

marami akong balak gawin, pero parang wala na yung push ko, yung driving force ko. kahit gaano kasakit kelangan tanggapin dahil yun lang ang alam kong dapat una kong gawin. tanggapin na wala na.

***

para lalong masakit, kanta nya to para sa akin nuon...

There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all.

And with all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these mem'ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more.

And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more
In my life I loved you more

*sorry kung hindi nako makakatulog ng maayos.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Malapit na naman ang annual christmas party namin. For almost 6 years na rin kaming nagse-celebrate ng zio christmas party. 3 consecutive years yata akong absent nun, at puro batikos ang inabot ko, but last year was very different. Ginawa naming extra special last year because it's zionist's 10 year anniversary, ibig sabihin, 10 years nang naggagaguhan ang mga miyembro nito hahaha!

Zionist was supposedly 4 na member lang before, isa yata itong pangalan ng isang banda nung high school, eh since hindi sumikat yung banda sa school, at wala ni isang tugtugang natugtugan, eh yung mga member ng band ay humanap na lang ng kanilang groupie. Hanggang sa dumami na ng dumami at nakalimutan na yung banda at naging isang samahan. 2nd yaer high school ako nun nung nabalitaan ko itong grupo na to. Wala akong balak salihan, kase bawal samen nung high school sumali sa mga ganito, yung mga sumasali sa kanila ay patago lang, don't get me wrong, hindi ito isang fraternity na pag sumali ka eh kailangan ka pang paluin para magmakaawang isali.

Ang zionist ay grupo ng mga mahihilig sa music, be it jazz, rock, alternative, musicals (sa mga bading na member), pop (sa mga pink members) at kung anu-ano pang genre ng music. Dun basically nag umpisa at nakilala ang grupo. Nung high school di ko pa kilala kung sino-sino ang mga to, dahil rumors lang naman ang existence ng grupong ito nung una, hanggang sa nakasama ko ang ilan sa kanila at naging kaklase. Biglaan ang pagkakasali ko sa grupo, parang pagkagising ko ay may isang demonyo na nag guide sa akin na ito ang tamang daan. Una, sama-sama lang ako, mukhang normal naman na magkakaibigan na mahilig sa music ang mga ito, kaya napasama nako. 4th year high school na nung magsimula ang mga drinking session, halos every weekend ay may ganitong okasyon. Ang topic, MUSIC! Lahat ng bago sa rock scene, new album, new band at kung sino-sinong demonic guitar gods.

Hanggang sa nag evolve ang grupo, naging sentimental, tulad na rin ng mga songs na pinakikinggan. Naging mas transparent ang isa't-isa, na lalo namang nagpatibay sa bonding ng mga demonyitong ito. Halos lahat, kahit hindi mo naging kaklase ay naging bestfriend mo (think 1970s nung time ng mga hippie) hanggang ngayon naman ay hindi na maiaalis yung ganung bonding nyo, once nag evolve kayo sa ganun hindi na kayo pwedeng bumalik sa simula kahit matagal pa kayong hindi nagkita, the only way is to evolve uli.

Pare, nasaan na ang zionist? andyan lang yun, sa tabi-tabi, hindi mawawala.

College ako nun at nahiwalay na ang ilan sa mga miyembro, merong nangibang bansa para mag-aral at yung iba sa iba't ibang lugar na sa Pilipinas. May mga nag stay at nagpatuloy sa tradition, may mga ilan na sumusulpot at nawawala ulet. Pero kung anu pa man, alam naman nila na may babalikan sila. Ang mga naiwan, nag evolve ulet, naging mas solid ang bonding at naging mga darna(mga bading! hahahaha!)

Kaya may annual christmas party para pagsaluhan ang mga memories nang nagdaang taon, tulad ng isang lumang kanta, pag narinig mo ulet, babalikbalikan mo. After so many years, sa mga late night binges, sa race the sun experience, sa mga Prater nights, Dencios' drinking session, sa mga Bryan's house arrest, Gino's Ref raiders, Erwin's musical extravaganza, Gettin' jiggy with a punk sa Kalookan, jamming with spelling, hanging-out with the infidels, ay masasabi ko na...

no music no life!

salamat sa ala-alang bubuuin pa.


-IT'S A ZIO WORLD AFTER ALL

enter pinoy big brother theme song (hahahahaha!!!!) (rip-off! rip-off! rip-off!)

With Compliments..

Nov. 1, i went to cemetery to visit our loved ones who already passed away, akala ko nung una baka hindi ako makakapunta, pero yun nga naka-visit din ako. Pagdating ko sa cemetery, napaka -init! at maraming tao! sobrang siksikan at sari-sari ang amoy- may amoy adobo, amoy pakbet, amoy shawarma at amoy paksiw, pati yung t-shirt ko nakisali rin sa samu't-saring amoy(yung shirt lang ha.) Ewan ko ba, ba't yung fave shirt ko pa ang nagkaroon ng amoy na ganun, naligo naman ako ng pabango, pero lakas ng power ng stinking shirt ko.

Sa dami ng tao na nanduon, nahiya tuloy ako. Hindi kase ako sanay magsuot ng ganun. May dala akong messenger bag, pero ewan ko kung ba't di ko naisipan na magdala ng extra shirt man lang. Siguro sa pagmamadali. At sa gitna ng kainitan, akalain mo ba namang biglang umulan ng malakas, buti na lang may dala akong mini-payong sa bag ko (yung tipong pag nasobrahan ng tiklop eh pwedeng bangkang papel sa liit.) Hindi nakuntento ang ulan, nilakasan talaga niya ang buhos niya, heto na, nabasa nako ng tuluyan.

After half an hour or more, tumigil na rin si ulan. At bigla namang umaraw. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Malagkit. (uso naman daw ang rice cake pag araw ng patay.) Prang gusto ko nang umuwi, pero hindi pa pwede dahil may dadaanan pa ko ng gabing iyon sa sementeryo sa Malabon. Ang amoy ko? overpowering na! umupo na lang ako sa tabi ng kapatid ko at nag patuyo ng mala-basahan kong shirt. The worst eh i'm so short on cash that day and wala akong dalang car! Buwiset! ba't ba sa lahat naman ng day eh dun ko pa nakalimutan mag dala ng extra cash! tuloy sana nakabili ako ng shirt.

Siguro hindi ako nakapag-prepare nung day na yun kase kala ko hindi ako makakaalis. Pero okay lang, kahit na short sa cash eh, puro kain naman ako. kase ang daming hinandang pagkain, sobra! tsaka masaya naman ako't nabisita ko at naipag-pray ko lahat ng dapat kong pasalamatan na mga loved ones nung day na yun. Kahit na umulan at hindi nakapunta yung regular kong ka-buddy na kasa-kasama ko sa Malabon, fulfilled naman ako at nagawa ko lahat ng dapat kong gawin nung day na yun.

Bry first absent mo 'to!

***

"Love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i need it most."

A reflection on the book "Brave New World"

Helholtz shook his head. "Not quite. I'm thinking of a queer feeling I sometimes get, a feeling that I've got something to say and the power to say it - only I don't know what it is and I can't make any use of the power. If there was some different way of writing.... or else something else to write about..."

"It's not enough for the phrases to be good; what you make of them ought to be good too."

-Excerpt from 'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley

These steel walls keep pressing
Breaking me inside-out,
tis bloodthirsty beast
Of tall buildings, neon lights
and random disguise.

Raping the innocence of soul
A stupor of madness
A heart cries for desire

Saints are weeping,
Their eyes bloodshot
And their flesh Thorne
By blades of the beast’s wings

Heroes’ caskets, buried in secrets-deep
In a marked thought
a forgotten wound
of past’s misfortune

I also am disguised
Clean with passion and arrogance
I am no longer human
but a victim of brutal purification.

And the earth’s dirt
are only eaten by men,
who seek truth within these
steel walls of disgust.

cry me a river, build me a bridge ,then do us all a favour and jump of it.

Baluuut!!!! Baluuut!!!!

Knelzone: Manong! Isa nga pong balut.

Manong balut: eto.. asin?

Knelzone: wag na po..

Manong balut: madalas akong napapadaan dito pero parang ngayon lang kita nakita. Taga rito

ka ba iho? Madami akong customer dito kaya madalas ako dito. Ilan, mga kilalang personalities

sa showbiz, ang ilan naman eh mga politicians. Ikaw politiko ka ba? Hindi siguro.. pero mukha

kang artista ah.

Napanuod mo ba yung that’s entertainment kahapon? Ang galing talaga sumayaw ng Universal

Motion Dancers. Paborito ko yung sayaw nila sa “Always.” Kaso, parang kulang. Gusto ko

sanang dagdagan. Siguro pag nakita ko na sila next week ituturo ko sa kanila yung steps ko,

ganito oh…. (kinampay ang mga kamay pataas at kumembot-kembot)

Knelzone: mmmp… (muntik nang mabulunan)

Manong balut: ano tingin mo? Masyado bang makembot? Well, masarap ba ang balut ko?

Refined kase ang mga sisiw nyan sa loob. Tsaka, ang nanay niyan eh artista, yung ginamit na

bibe (duck) dun sa pelikula ni Maricel Soriano. Kaya paborito kong alaga yung bibe (duck) na

yun eh.

Sa susunod bibigyan na kita ng special discount kase mukhang magiging suki kita. Ang sarap mo

kaseng kausap. Mauna na ko sayo kase madami pa kong dadaanan.

Knelzone: sige po, ingat po kyo.

Manong balut: o eto nga pala sukli mo. thanks.

knelzone: (isip.. isip...) dumarami yata adik ngayon???

***

Wet paper apartment
nothing to hide, nothing to spare
thorn apart and lost

Inside, a dark box of crumpled paper
A mirror of my life
colors melting
organic plastic sunshine

I'm walking away from you now
leaving you with all you have now
Having nothing is wanting a lot
Though your sky seem blue
I'm walking away from you

Leaving a wet paper apartment, well,
wet.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

knelzone: tsong, punta tayo ng Punta Fuego!
(message sending...)(message sent!)






(1 message received!)
friend: huh??? sige, sino-sino kasama? may sasakyan ba? kelan?






knelzone: sino-sino kasama? syempre yung may mga pera lang..
(message sending...)(message sent!)






(1 message received!)
friend: ah.. wala akong pera eh.. pero gusto kong sumama.






knelzone: sige, hanap ka muna ng matandang bakla na pwedeng mag-fund sayo.. good luck!
(message sending...)(message sent!)

buwahahahaha!!!





(after 10 hours, ni-reject ko na ang idea na pumunta pa dun. sigh...)

***

I'am swimming in a bowl of dreams
spaces are void
useless and ineffective
surreal reality of wretchedness
fiction is breaking away

run away
run away
run away without you.


tugtog: Straitjacket feeling -All American Rejects

It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.

A healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.

SOURCE: The Story of Farts, Shinta Cho

Last week, wala akong ibang kinain kundi fruits, fruits, tsaka fruits. No, hindi kasama dun ang tutti-fruity tsaka juicy fruit. Talagang fresh fruits lang ang laman ng tyan ko for the whole week. Not knowing na medyo acidic pala ako, by the end of the week, eto na, para akong isang walking blow horn. tututururot!!!

Halos uminit ang puwitan ko buong maghapon. I tried everything para maihinto ang holocaust, uminum nako ng maraming water tsaka ng medicine pero walang nangyari. Kulang na lang eh tumambay ako sa banyo to make sure na hindi ako ang magiging dahilan ng sudden change of weather (read: sci-tech magazine on greenhouse effect.)

I can't go to the gym because of my condition. Hindi rin ako halos maka-alis, at kung aalis man ako, eh kelangan may dala akong wind vane (para sa mga magtatanong pa dyan kung ano ang wind vane.. wind vane - n : a mechanical device which rotates freely to show the direction of the wind. ok na?!.. continue…) para safe na wala akong masasaktang damdamin. Hirap nun ah, lalo na sa crowded elevator, o kaya sa escalator.

Naisip ko, kung puntahan ko na lang kaya yung kapatid ko at sa kanya ko i-confess lahat ng "fruit-of-my-labor" sanay naman yun sa aken eh, tsaka kapatid ko naman yun, o kaya makipag jamming sa mga Jazz artist kase I feel jazzy (more of gassy)-korny ha!- hirap kayang walang kausap kundi tong pwit kong tumotorotot. Feeling ko tuloy ako "Ang Batang Tumutunog" (a story from a defunct children's show), nilalayuan ng mga tao, kinamumuhian sa barrio, ngunit naging isang superhero dahil sa kakaibang lakas at talento, kakampi ng mga naapi, kalaban ng mga kawatan (ang sagwa!)

But one can’t help not to go outside, pano kung bibili ka ng food mo? Paano kung may kelangan kang puntahang importanteng bagay, like, kelangan mong manghiram ng DVD? Buti na lang at natapos ang linggo na wala naman akong nasaktang damdamin, bukod sa mangilan-ngilang nakita kong nakakunot ang nuo at parang may hinahanap (lingon sa kanan... lingon sa kaliwa... sabay sabi, "tangena sino ba yun?!") Syempre, iwas na lang ako sa mga tingin nila at nagdasal na sana invisible na lang ako.

So far, tumigil na ang my sound of music, safe na ang lahat (pwede na kayong bumalik sa inyong mga tahanan, barrio, baranggay at mamuhay ng normal.) Bumalik na rin ako sa normal diet ko, ayoko nang maulit ang nangyari. Kakahiya kase (nahiya ka pa!)

Sa mga nakapag mura nga pala, sorry at nagkasala pa kayo dahil saken....

...TANGINA NYO RIN!!!

The unperfect heaven of melancholy

1 message received...


ex: di ka na nahiya. kung sino-sino pinapa-sleep over mo dyan sa room mo!


knelzone: huh?!? di naman kung sino-sino yun eh, cousin k0 yun tsaka yung girlfriend nya. Natulog sila dito kase hindi na sila maka-uwi kase malakas ang ulan.


(sending message...) (message sent!)



receiving message....


ex: meron naman silang mauuwian ha.. bat kelangan pa nilang mag-stay dyan?


knelzone: bat kelangan marami kang tanong? and who are you to ask me these things?...


(sending message...) (message sent!)



receiving message....


ex: Oo nga naman pala. Sino nga naman pala ako para mag tanong... Sorry ha.


knelzone: *boink!*

Lord, help me escape in heaven
I am already used to sorrow
It will be unfitting to be there


Lord , help me escape in heaven
It is perfect in all splendor
A paradise, A majestic place


It glitters in magnificent beauty
Intimidating place of perfection
Its' ambrosial fragrance
a flawless morningtide


The light it brings
secludes me from your presence
I am undeserving
human
flawed
broken
imperfect.


Lord, help me escape in heaven.

It is a frigid democracy, what we are right now are the residue of our decisions yesterday.

Decision karma

A grain of sand

Luscious for an ocean wave

Killin’ tides of solid marble pain

This is not an act

But mere deliverance

Heaven is on your side

I, an angel in the dark.

Sire roses of dissolution?

An immortal angel adores reclusion

Mendicant soul searching for reprisal

An act

A play

A joy

Liberation.

Wolves and Orcs and other servant of Melkor

Pare 1: tsong, given a chance, kakain ka ba ng buhay na manok?

Pare 2: ikaw? given a chance, hahalikan mo ba si chocolate (yung bading) sa lips? torid ha!

Post:

Daylight falls upon the path, the forest falls behind
Today I am not prey to dark uncertainty
The shadow trembles in its wrath, I've robbed its blackness blind
And tasted sunlight as my fear came clear to me

I think I understand
Fear is like a wilderland
Stepping stones or sinking sand

Now the way leads to the hills, above the steeple's chime
Below me sleepy rooftops round the harbor
It's there I'll take my thirsty fill of friendship over wine
Forgetting fear but never disregarding her

Oh, I think I understand
Fear is like a wilderland
Stepping stones and sinking sand

Sometimes voices in the night will call me back again
Back along the pathway of a troubled mind
When forests rise to block the light that keeps a traveler sane
I'll challenge them with flashes from a brighter time

Oh, I think I understand
Fear is like a wilderland
Stepping stones or sinking sand


-- I think I understand by Joni Mitchell

soul one

This caught me by surprise. I have never thought there's an existing song entitled "soul one" from Blind melon. woah!
Soul one was included in their new and final album, "NICO." I am not really sure if the album was released here in the country during that time. It was also said that "soul one" was the first song ever composed by Rogers Stevens (guitarist) and Brad Smith (bassist) for the group. Nico, on the other hand, is a gift for Shannon Hoon's daughter Nico Blue, who was 13 and a half weeks old during the time her Dad died.

"Soul one" appeals a little bit soppy, for me. But one can't deny how striking the lines are, like, "Should of never taken the time/'Cause I found myself living a lonely lie /You said, you left to find yourself /But I never, no I never got the chance to say good-bye."

and, "She was my soul one/I though she was......."

The song is a complete achievement for Smith and Stevens , for capturing the feeling the song wanted to imply.

Here is the complete lyrics of the song "Soul one." Now, bleed... hehehe.

Soul one -Blind melon

How come, girl was there when I needed one
How come, girl was there when the song is done
Some say, open your eyes to a brighter light
Okay, open my arms they were right

She was my soul one
She felt she was the only one
She was the sun, the sky blue eyes
She was my soul one

Inside, pain in my heart often made her cry
Outside, I cursed the birds and the sugar sky
How long take to realize she's the one
How long until I find my lost and lonely soul one

She was my soul one
She felt like the only one
She was the sun, the sky blue eyes
She was my soul one

Should of never taken the time
'Cause I found myself living a lonely lie
You said, you left to find yourself
But I never, no I never got the chance to say good-bye

She was my soul one I though she was.....

Cats dont have names for everything because they know who they are

The Brain -
What bravado to study something so complex and so …well … incomprehensible! What chutzpah to talk confidently about what we know in spite of the vastness of our ignorance.


I saw myself standing at the edge of a cliff, 40,000 ft. high, sharp-edged rocks at the bottom. My brain says, "jump off! and you will die."
My heart says,"jump off! and you will fly."

and so..

i leap.


you die? you fly?


No. I fall.

The Balance

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?".

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant."

"I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a group of islands and said, "What are those?"

"Ah," said God. "That's the Philippines, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains and forests. The people from the Philippines are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as carriers of peace and love."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in the government."